distant

today i was reminded that i've been distant with God lately on a personal level. i hadn't really been thinking about it too much. more trying to avoid it. but a friend reminded me of a few things that really struck me. i need to share my thoughts or they will take me captive. good, bad, or really bad. guess this is why when i blog regularly i do so much better. i can easily get stuck inside my head and it's not good. i need to be more open and willing to share.

i feel like lately i've just been messing up a lot. anywhere from forgetting things, becoming really impatient with the girls, saying stupid things, not using time wisely, etc, etc, etc. i'm so stuck on having to always do the right thing. i know that i don't always do the right thing so i'm not prideful that way but i've realized that i am prideful in that i am not willing to admit all my faults that i think i do. i can be very open about many faults but sometimes there are some things that i hold onto and i've realized that i can't do that. they will only hold me captive and it's these times that i struggle with accepting God's grace. right now the first thing i think about is lately just saying stupid things and talking too freely. i need to really think more before i say anything and i need to rely on God more.

i need to close the distance.