new perceptions

i finished don piper's book,"90 minutes in Heaven" the other night. he has an amazing story but i wasn't impressed with the book. maybe i just had unmet expectations. i just felt it was all over the place. but it did give me a couple reminders and mindset changes that accompanied with "fresh-brewed life" made for some great realizations.

the big thing with his book was that i was expecting to get some new insight into what heaven will be like and it's not there. he doesn't give any details that aren't in the Bible or haven't been heard elsewhere. his purpose i believe, was to account for the reality of heaven. so through the book i struggled with really believing he did go. not that i don't think it couldn't happen just that it seems like people have near death experiences but do people ever really get to heaven until they die permanently? but then i realized that this is his experience, his story, his life written by God. we all have our stories and experiences and that's real and those make up who we are in God, our testimony. no one can tell me my experiences with God aren't true because they are mine.

in fresh-brewed life i was reading about longings and of course this made me think about what mine are. our longings are given to us by God but ultimately only He can fulfill them to the fullest and the realization is that i now want heaven more than ever before. if all my heart's desires and longings were fulfilled on this earth what would i need heaven for. i need to go there to be with God, the true Father that even after 32 years is still a deep longing for me. i still long for a daddy. i don't long for one as deeply as i once did but that's only because God continues to fill that role. but until i reach heaven it will never be fully filled. i need to go to be with my best friend, Jesus. i am very blessed, especially right now, with a great circle of friends. i have many great friends that i can do social things with, who i could call for any need, etc, but i long for a best friend. i've only had it happen once. a friend who feels the same about you as you do for them. who holds you in that #1 spot as a friend, who would call you first for any need. i'm not anyone's best friend but i would love to be that to someone more than i need that for me. i feel like i do better with just a few friends. i've actually asked david to stop inviting new people over because i can't keep up. i have a lot of fun and i definitely have friends that are closer than others. if i made a circle with 3 rings that would be my friendships with no one in the middle. but there is someone in that middle spot and He is filling it more and more as i desire to let Him fill it more, Jesus and what a friend He is.

i have a feeling i am going to re-read this and it's not going to make sense. i feel like i am rambling. i'm guessing i will be editing but right now we are off to meet friends for dinner.